November 17th

     It has been really interesting this past week in Family Relations. We have been talking about communication, and the power of using councils. With communication, I have come to realize how important different types of communication. As it turns out, more messages are sent through body language and non-verbal communication than through verbal communication. We also learned about the importance of active, empathetic, and reflective listening. When we are truly listening to each other, without distractions of any kind or impatience, it tells the speaker that they are (and what they are saying is) important. The way you can do this is to listen and to tell them back what they said to you, maybe trying to identify the feeling or concern behind it. Don't try to give advice or fix the problem, just help them to identify feelings and show love and concern for that person. I've seen this work in my relationship with my fiance. We have both tried different ways of listening to each other. Trying to fix the problem and offer suggestions just doesn't work. Generally what it comes down to is that we just need someone to listen to us and to tell each other we love each other. Listening this way really is effective and makes relationships stronger.
    
     We talked about using councils in the family. The brethren in the Quorum of the 12 Apostles always hold a council every Thursday in the temple. They do this at a certain time and a certain place to ensure that it happens. They have a specific agenda they follow and do so prayerfully. I think this can be incorporated in the family by having family councils and making sure to include the whole family in discussions and decisions. When the each opinion is considered thoroughly and prayerfully by each member of the family (as it is in the Quorum of the 12), the decision to be made is likely to be the right one. (This also goes back to the good listening skills) Once the decision is final, everyone in the group or family needs to support it and the leader of the group or family full-heartedly. If there isn't that needed support, the family or group will crumble and not be nearly as strong. I really want to incorporate this decision-making process in my future family.